Graduation is now 3 weeks away. I find myself still jobless and without a future. In true LG fashion, I have made a list of what to do instead of getting a real, grown-up job.
10. Spend my time making up fake posts for textsfromlastnight.com and fmylife.com
9. Do something Youtube worthy
8. Change my name to Caroline
7. Tell everyone I'm an artist
6. Live with my parents and take up something appropriate to being in my mid-20s and living at home (Dungeons and Dragons?)
5. Become a Democrat
4. Stalk Zac Efron
3. Go on Millionaire Matchmaker
2. Cry
1. Do as all middle-class white kids who can't find jobs do and go to grad school.
They are, quite obviously, listed from least to most appropriate. And, I mean, there is always the option of becoming a Fresno/Clovis soccer mom. Just kidding. This is a no mini-van zone.
May I weigh in? I say stalk Zac Efron, and here is my reasoning . . .
ReplyDelete1. The scenery will be great, I mean, it's Zac Efron.
2. You will have permission to wear super cool spy-girl outfits.
3. Thiss will accomplish numbers 10, 9, 6, 4 and 2 . . . and when it's all over, possibly number 8.
4. If you get enough publicity you could get a book deal or movie deal or whatever reality-celebrities live off of, and then you could be on millionaire matchmaker as the millionaire, thus accomplishing #3.
5. Or, if you're a particularly good stalker you could become a hollywood trophy wife, not a fresno/clovis soccer mom . . .
Good luck . . .